Thankful Anyway Thursday

This Thankful Anyway is brought to you by an email that D wrote me the other day.

If you want to have another baby . . . DON'T DO IT HERE! Thank GOD I have insurance!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot believe all those people protesting health care reform!!! Sure, I am not very well informed on the subject, but I can't help but think that most of those people protesting would find it difficult to pay their medical bills without assistance. Even with good insurance, our yearly out of pocket max is a sum that most "average" Americans would find very difficult to deal with on top of all of their other debts. Not to mention, if my care extended over two calender years (like if I got pregnant in August and gave birth the following April) in which case I could pay the max EACH YEAR! Thankfully, we have planned for this. We are financially stable, but it was still a very eye opening experience when I went through all of the bills/insurance stuff today. So, are you curious? 

Routine OB care $4231.00 (this is just for my Dr visits)

Hospital stay for C-Section $11,000 (4 days of healthy mom and baby care)

Anesthesiologist $754 (for the Anesthesiologist's time)

Two ultrasounds $500 (approximate)

Other lab tests $244 (approximate - all of those pee tests etc)

Estimated total: $16,729.00

This is estimated - but it will not be less than this. If I hemorrhage or if baby is jaundiced that is more $$. There are probably other services that I was charged for but haven't included. Of course, a regular birth would cost less, but how many people end up with C-sections anyways?

My reply:

Oh yeah...I figured my situation would have cost $50,000 easy (probably upwards of $75,000+). Probably well over. 12 days in the hospital. Baby ICU for 4 days...special care for 6. All the drugs possible, constant monitoring, IV antibiotics and jaundice treatment for the sprout, and a c-section....and initial emergency room visit.  

This is all before my 3 ultrasounds, routine bloodwork and tests, midwife appointments, emergency fetal heart monitoring, free prescriptions and dental care, and GP appointments. Then there is all the post natal care I have received; home visits by the midwives and health visitor, immunizations and my 6 week post natal check up.

So is my situation a for or against "socialized" health care?  I guess you can see it being eithrer way depending on how you vote on the subject.

All that I know is that when I was getting into that taxi on the way to the hospital my fist thought wasn't "oh shit, I hope everything is ok.."  My first thought was "oh shit, I wonder how much this would have cost me in the States?"

Do I really have to sum up this post?  I think not.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

I am already feeling the benefit of free healthcare for my Sprout.  He has been having major tummy problems (constipation) so we have to go to the doctor tomorrow  We have to go again on Monday for shots.

So tummy problems...bad
Free healthcare...good

We are having appliance problems.  Our dryer trips everytime we use it, therefore trying to dry the clothes with cold air.  So, we decided to unhook the trip, which has worked, but the other day, the wires heated up and melted the electrical tape that was holding wires together...we haven't quite decided if we should get a new one...we probably should.

Our refrigerator is stupid.  For one thing it is 75 liters (the size of those tiny hotel refrigerator) and it has a little freezer in it.  The little freezer constantly ices up (and I mean ICES up).  Luckily it was snowing today, so I put all our food outside so I could defrost the fridge.  Needless to say, we need a new fridge.  Luckily new fridges are on the cheap side, I am not really quite sure why we haven't gotten a new one, just lazy I guess.

Our new Christmas tree's lights are faulty.  After they have been on for about 5 hrs, they begin to dim and blink randomly.  I should  take it back, but then I would have to undress it, package it and haul it into town.  Maybe I could do it after Christmas and make it look like it happened a little later than it actually did.  On the bright side, if we put it on a blinking setting, it keeps the Sprout memorized for about a half an hour (I see a gamer in our future).

I am not quite sure how our appliance problems fits into the Thankful Anyway theme except maybe it will be cool to own my own appliances that are new and not used.  Very adult..

Thankful Anyway Thursday

How cool to do a TAT on Thanksgiving!  Now I have extra pressure to turn up an excellent TAT, I don't know if I am up to the challenge this year.  Last year I turned out a good one, but I will have to try extra hard this year.

While I think of something...

What the Sprout is thankful for:
Yesterday was the Sprout's real due date.  We had him weighed and he is now 6lbs 11oz (he gained a pound and 3oz in 2 weeks)! almost a real birth weight!  Very exciting, he is still very tiny though.  So we all know the Sprout is thankful for "Mommy Milk" (copyrighted by my mom).  He also seems to be thankful for Michael Buble and the shadows on the wall next to the kitchen, as well as his mommy singing "Skylark" when he is sleepy-awake and disposable didies (also copyrighted by my mom).

I am still thinking...


Random thoughts on mommy hood:
Mommy hood is really tiring, especially with Richard at work.  During the day it really does feel like I am single mommying it.  Every other thing that has stressed and overwhelmed me in life does't even come close to the stress of being the only one who can feed a tiny being.  And I must say that this week I finally hit the breaking point...there is no other exhaustion that can compare, not even the days where I would go for 4 days without sleep because of my horrible insomnia.  In fact, I thought that annoying condition would help me, but it doesn't because I have no trouble sleeping, but having to personally produce food is so physically exhausting, like having the stomach flu exhausting.

Coming up blank...


This year's Thanksgiving festivities:
This year's Thanksgiving festivities will be taking place on December 5th.  It seems to be really hard to get 8 people together at the same time in November.  Auntie Cathy made a really cool Turkey bib that the Sprout will be sporting for the occasion.   This year will be the 5th Thanksgiving I have hosted, meaning I have spent 5 Thanksgivings away from home, but also that I am becoming awesome at making Thanksgiving Dinner...So in 25 years, the Allen's will have their new Thanksgiving person.  All of us Allen cousins find our place eventually.

I am getting it...

What I am thankful for:
This year I have a special place in my heart for family.  Last year I considered this one of the generic "Thankful fors" but this year family is especially special.   Not only can I say that I have my own family to be thankful for, but I can say that I am insanely grateful for my preexisting family of about 40 strong.  This thankfulness comes from years of layers that have been glimpsed under only to be kept hidden and left to mold and stink.  This year however, there was finally a deep cleaning and the carpet was replaced and the dirty laundry taken out, and because of this, the family has gotten stronger.  Oh, there are still tiny holes in the fabric that are being decided whether or not they should be mended or if the garment should simply be thrown away, but finally we are all on the same page and can now start with a fresh coat of paint.  And this is what I am truly grateful for this year.

For all the other things I have learned to be thankful for visit Thankful Anyway Thursday.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

Coming to yah one handed with my shirt unbuttoned and a sleeping baby smelling of sour milk (I really should fix that) in my lap.

Well where to start?  I have been a bit busy, no time for my entries lately, but I guess I have some sort of Thankful Anyway to share.

Given, I have never given birth or raised a child in the US, but this whole experience is another shiny glimpse into British culture that many Americans would never have.  So far I have been a tourist, a student, a wife and a worker in the UK.  All of these experiences have been exciting and life changing but I think the most interesting (and the most scary) will be being a parent in the UK.

As England is a developed, industrialized, Western society like the US (can you tell I am reading a cultural anthropology book?) you would think that there wouldn't be too many differences, and I am sure there are not (however I have learned that just because we speak the same language doesn't mean we are the same culturally at all.)  However, one difference between the US and the UK is the Community Health Visitor and NHS midwives that come to your home after you have returned home from the hospital.

As a new parent without any family close by, it was great to have the midwives and health visitors come around to check up on me and the Sprout.  The midwives weighed and fussed over Nathan and helped me with the breast feeding, while the health visitor helps me with parenting.  After about a week at home I was discharged by the midwives and now only see the health visitor.

Once a week my chipper health visitor comes to my door with her nifty portable scale in hand and greets me with a serious "how are you feeling in yourself?" followed by "is the breast feeding going ok?"  She then comes in and we talk about things.  Her main objective seems to be that I bring up the child in a manner suitable to the British collective (I have been told not to tell her I am co-sleeping with the Sprout.as this is against the advice I was given to scare me into thinking my child would die of SIDS if I did.)

The visits have been all fine and dandy until this weeks where I encountered my first bit of Western parenting.  The dreaded advice that will ensure my child become an independent individual amongst society.  This advice was given in conjunction with my telling the health visitor that the Sprout hadn't been able to sleep the night before unless he was on Richard's or my chest and if I wasn't carrying him around, he had, what I saw as, an anxiety attack.  This was the advice I was given...

• I must not let the child be held too often or he will not want to be put down, which is unrealistic as I have things to do.

Yes, I have things to do, such as cook, clean, do laundry, eat, write blog entries, etc (and let me tell you it stresses me out that I can't get around to doing them)...but I also have a year off, surely I have time to get these things done.

Other advice I was offered:

1. The household doesn't revolve around the child, the child needs to incorporate himself into the household.
2. The child needs to be able to entertain himself.
3. I should bottle feed the breast milk at night to let my boobs replenish themselves as I am highly stressed out (I liked this bit of advice and will try this.)

So she isn't completely shocking to some of you, she did say at the end of the visit that I should do what is good for me.  Try it, if I don't like it, I can try something else. (She also told me to not worry about cleaning the house and that I should accept all forms of help...lady across the street, I hope you really meant what you said.)

Her advice shocked me a little because the Sprout is a month old and already I am being told to give him independence.  I recognize that what she was really telling me was that it was ok to "put the baby down so no one gets hurt."

Now the thankful anyway part.

I can't be too critical of the health visitor, she is giving me advice that has been approved by the NHS.  She can't give me some new age parental techniques because if something bad happens, the NHS is responsible.

Most of all, I can't complain that I have a lady that will come to my house every week, if I need her to (I can see how this would be considered communist), for the next 5 years to give me parenting advice and to make sure I am "ok in myself."  I know that in the US, no one comes to your house and if you don't have family around, you are left flailing your arms about like you were hailing a plane.  You would also have to pay for any service to help you cope with this new found responsibility.  Here you don't.

So though it is a little annoying that I am fed this prescribed advice about how the government thinks I should raise a productive member of society, I am thankful anyway that I have someone whose job it is to come into my home and make sure I am not going crazy and to answer all my silly parenting questions at no cost to me.

Thankful Anyway Thursday and 34 weeks

The past couple of months have been so stressful in the financial area of my life (like most people's). Wednesday finally solved everything! I got my Maternity Allowance go ahead! I was so excited! I will be receiving the same amount as I was when I was working. Finally, we will have the money that we have been missing since the end of June (because I got sick pay all Summer, which amounts to half pay, and I haven't gotten anything for the past month and a half because my managers at work are incompetent). I was also told that I will be finally getting my holiday pay on Friday (after I had to do my manager's job and harass people myself).

I just can't believe everything finally worked out. Even if my holiday pay is screwed up again this week (and I am assuming it will until I see the money in my bank), I have the go ahead on my Maternity Allowance.

To recap my Thankful Anyway:
The last couple of months have been really crap, not knowing where my paycheck was, how much it would be for or if I would be getting any pay at all. I have had to fight with my managers and do their jobs for them. I have had to be mean to my husband because I wanted to make sure we could pay our bills.

But I am Thankful Anyway because...
It all paid off in the end! Now I know where my pay is coming from and I can accurately assess our finances again. We are going to be back to where we were when I was working (which although is still fraught with debt, we were able to pay our bills and our debts on time without borrowing from anyone). We can also start buying the little things we need to get ready for the Sprout, which is of great comfort to me.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

It is that time of year again when everyone asks the question..."should I turn on the heat?"  It is a hard question to answer.  If you were lucky enough to bask in the heat of the sun this Summer, you may feel the need to turn on your heat before the rest of us.  If you are like me, where the Summer produced limited days over 72 F (22 C), then you may be able to hold off a little longer.

For the past 3 years, I have barely been able to keep my house above 56 F (14 C), even letting it get down to 53 F (12 C) on more than a few occasions, and yet last year we were still left with a £350 bill for Dec-Feb that we just finished paying off.  This time when we moved we decided to sign up for direct debit so we pay a fixed rate every month for our gas/electricity (that is until we start using more and then the direct debit goes up).  Luckily Britain has an open market when it comes to gas/electricity suppliers, so you are allowed to shop around and change suppliers at will.

With the Spout due to make an appearance at the end of November we have some time to go without turning on the heat, however, the recent problem with the cellar has left us to un-needingly turn on the heat to dry out the room.  Because I feel it is such a waste, I think we are just going to lie and tell the property people that we tried having the heat on for a few days and it didn't work and therefore we need a to borrow a dehumidifier.  Honestly, I don't see how blasting the heat in a drafty cellar improves the dampness, especially when you live in a wet climate.  We also have to keep the window open in order for the moisture to escape, it just doesn't make sense. NB: We learned that the landlord DID know about the cellar because there was a burst water pipe not to long ago and that is why the cellar was damp...Thanks a lot!

Because of the tightness of our budget, I did look into what a baby needs the temperature to be in the house.  I was happy to find that we should have the house between 65 F (18 C) and 70 F(21 C), which isn't too bad. I also read the wisdom of others and they suggested that if you are too cold, so is the baby.  Also, we have received so many beautiful knitted sweaters from Richard's Nan, that the Sprout has no chance of going cold this Winter.

So to sum up my Thankful Anyway post...
Yes, it sucks to have to pay for heat.  Heating a house in incredibly expensive, almost unfair.  However I am thankful anyway because I am looking forward to having a reason to turn on the heat.  Being cold is miserable and adds to my S.A.D.  I enjoy wearing my woolly sweaters and green, fleece "pickle suit,"  but being afraid to turn the heat on when even the silk PJs don't keep me warm makes Winter long and depressing (and after all I actually kinda like Winter, not February though...I HATE February).

Thankful Anyway Thursday and the beginning of the halloween movie-thon

Finally October 1st!  Now I can begin my horror movie-thon...it has been so hard to wait and I haven't even decided on what to watch first.
I don't really have anything to say that doesn't involve the typical whine about how much my body hates me and how I am thankful anyway because of the Sprout...  I am a little tired of  using the Sprout as my positive focus when I hurt and feel it becomes the politically correct thing to say.  So this week I am not saying it (although I just kinda did).
I am interested in the fact that I didn't receive any comments on my gay marriage opinion piece.  Very interesting...either no one agrees, everyone agrees or I have more people not talking to me than I thought...or it could be that the issue is worn out (kinda like healthcare...although I don't think either issue could EVER be warn out).
This last weekend Richard had to move all of our storage from the cellar to the living room because it all began to mold.  Richard said he found black, white, grey, orange and yellow mold.  Fun times.  
I guess I can say I am thankful that I have a husband that could take care of all that because I wouldn't have been able to bring the boxes upstairs and I shouldn't be inhaling that stuff (neither should he, but he has a strong immune system).  What bit I did breathe in made me want to vomit it was so strong.  I have had the doors open for 4 days now, luckily it hasn't been too cold.  Now we will just have to see how long it takes for us to contact the property people to tell them about it (this link is good for people who rent in Washington State).  You'd think it was something they would want to know, but property management people are a strange breed.

Here are some things I am thankful for (not thankful anyway) this week:

Scented Candles...thank you Ms. Molly for the reminder that candles smell good.

People who said they are sending me packages

Richard's paycheck and job

LolCats

Halloween

Zucchini Bread

Peep Show (a really funny British TV series)

Past Thankful Anyway Thursdays

To complete the page, I am going to add the previous existing Thankful Anyways as links:

August 27th, 2009

August 19th, 2009

August 12th 2009

August 6th, 2009

Thankful Anyway Thursday

Ahhh...up at 6 am to see that it is STILL DARK!!!
Let's see...I don't have anything specific because the weeks are going by so fast I don't know what to do with myself.  
The pregnancy:2 months to go!  You heard right! 2 months. 

• I am tired all the time.
• My back and pelvis ache.
• I can't bend over, roll over, stand up or sit down without sounding like an old man (uhhh...ooohhh...grunt!)
• I have to lie when I go to buy vitamins or anything from a drug store, saying what I am buying is for someone else.  Can you believe that?  I can't buy any vitamins at the vitamin store unless they are specifically for pregnant ladies (so different from the US).
• The sides of my stomach feel like they are being stretched by a taffy machine (and are beginning to look like it too).
• I am tired of being kicked from the inside and having the hiccups that aren't my own that last for a half an hour or more.

Thankful anyway:Only 2 months left!  I should be happy that I am being kicked from the inside and not the outside, and if I had the hiccups for a half an hour I would kill myself, so better him and me.
Work and money:Oh work and money...what would I do without you to frusterate my life so?  Since I have been out of work, we had a manager change.  In this manager change, things got really screwed up because my previous manager decided not to fill the new manager in on my situation (or anyone else's for that matter).  He didn't tell her that I had pre-approved holiday that I was supposed to receive before my maternity leave started.  So, the new manager never put it in, and when I was switched over to maternity leave, I was not allowed the pay that the new manager put in to make up for my holiday.So after a small sit in at work the other day...I finally called corporate and dealt with the problem myself and HOPEFULLY it will be all sorted soon.  I have been without pay for 3 weeks now leaving Richard and I completely broke and stressed out.I am totally confused at why I always have to do t he manger's job.
Thankful Anyway:It gave me something to do and cry about.  I was proud of myself for calling corporate myself and dealing with the problem.  I think I could do the manager's job, something for me to think about when I have to return to work.

Thankful Anyway Thursday

Short and sweet: Dark by 8 pm?...come on!!Thankful anyway because Fall is a good season, I actually really like it (except for the dark) and I have a Daylight light to keep my mood up.